+++Addy screamed all the way to the crematorium, shrill and obnoxious and just like her. Christy contemplated reaching over her sister and yanking the steering wheel all the way to the left, sending them all straight into oncoming traffic. She told her sister as much, that she’d ‘make her own damn short cut to the crematorium if Addy didn’t shut the fuck up.’ In the rear view, the youngest sibling of the trio scrolled listlessly on her phone, seemingly unaffected by the constant banshee-shrill cries coming from the eldest. Christy rolled her eyes.

+++“What is this damn thing doing?” Addy slammed her hand against the steering wheel; it was manicured to make the tips of her fingers just a touch more baby pink than the rest of her; according to Christy, it was more of a red if anything. Her hand hit the wheel close enough to the horn to make Christy click her tongue in poorly hidden annoyance.

+++“Fucking what, Chris? We’re already supposed to be there, but Google Maps doesn’t know anything!” Addy’s face was a startling pink portraying her frustration as it bled through and stained her cheeks. Christy was inwardly impressed that her sister had found a nail polish that finally, and completely, matched her temper.

+++“Told you to use Apple Maps,” Macy muttered from the back, not looking up.

+++“Yes, thank you Macy; That’s so fucking helpful,” Addy, heavy footed as always, pressed hard on brake, launching all three of them forward.

+++“Lovely,” Macy said as she readjusted herself in her seat. She pulled at her seat belt for a moment before unbuckling it completely. She leaned forward in her seat, her elbows on her knees with her face and phone tucked between them.

+++“Look, it’s right there, Addy,” Christy rubbed a tired hand against her eyes before pointing to the name of the crematorium, Heart of Texas Cremation, that was illuminated amidst the various shops around it. It seemed odd to Christy that there would be a place to pick up ashes in between a Marshalls and a Michaels, but she supposed that’s what you get for a whopping $675 bucks; it was the cheapest option she could find. She had tuition to pay, and burning a body hadn’t been in her budget for the semester. She wondered briefly if it would be appropriate to ask to stop at the neighboring Starbucks on their way out, “So, how exactly are we doing this?”

+++Macy paused, pursing her lips like she’d finally gotten a taste of her own bitterness, “What do you mean we? You’re going in to get it.”

+++“Me?” Christy’s breath caught, “You’re not coming in with me to get him?”

+++Addy at least had the wits about her to look somewhat apologetic as she parked the car a few rows away from the entrance. “I mean, your name is the only one on the death certificate. So, it’s kinda your thing, you know? We’re here for mortal support.”

+++“Yup,” Macy agreed, popping her lips, “for moral support.”

+++Addy rolled her eyes, but nodded along.

+++“Un-fucking-believable,” Christy took in a deep breath, stepping out of the car, and if she slammed the door a little harder than necessary, well that was her sisters’ problem.

+++“Everyone say hi to dad!”

+++“Macy!” It had taken all of ten minutes to retrieve the ashes and walk back out to the car and yet, Christy felt like she’d aged ten years. She’d gone in and signed the forms, then she’d been handed a bag complete with a small black box that looked like one of those flash-card holders, an envelope with her receipt, and a pile of notarized death certificates all with her name printed on them in big bold letters. It’d all been disturbingly similar to picking up a cake or dry cleaning; it was not at all what she was expecting the pick up of human remains to be.

+++“What? It’s just going on my Snapchat,” Macy rolled her eyes from where she now sat in the passenger’s seat of the car; while Christy grabbed their father’s remains, Macy decided it was time for an upgrade. She glanced at the bag held firmly in her sister’s lap, “They gave him to you in a birthday bag?”

+++“I don’t know. I guess so. I mean, there’s a box in the bag. I think the bag is just so I don’t have to carry just that,” Christy had found it odd when they handed her father to her in a pastel yellow bag, but it hadn’t really felt appropriate to complain at the time, “I mean, it’s not like he cares. It doesn’t outright say ‘happy birthday’ or anything. It’s just a bag.”

+++“Jesus, Christy” Addy muttered from the front, a disapproving frown lining her lips. She started the car.

+++“What?” Christy demanded, “You don’t get to say shit because you weren’t there for it.”

+++A beat of silence passed between the siblings. Addy seemed to find her words first, “You could have asked for help with any of it. You know that.”

+++“I didn’t think that was something I had to ask for.”

+++They were quiet again as Christy silently simmered from the back seat. It was a touchy subject that held the weight of both death and dying. It was far touchier than the actual death of their father. Family is complicated that way.

+++“Well, looks like nothing’s changed, right Dad?” Macy rolled her eyes and turned to look out of the window, “We can’t get along for more than five minutes.”

+++“Do you wanna hold him?” Christy asked…

+++Macy reached to the back, motioning for her sister to pass the bag to her. From the driver’s seat, Addy quietly sighed and shook her head.

+++“Never thought I’d have dad on my lap,” Macy pursed her lips, quietly pawing at the strings of the yellow bag, “Weird.”

+++“Definitely weird,” Addy commented—the awkwardness slowly creeping back into the air around them.

+++“I wanna see what’s inside the box,” Macy reached into the bag, and pulled open the lid to the plastic container. She was quiet for a moment before turning back to Christy, “Ew, he looks like a bag of cake mix, all gray and powdery and stuff.”

+++“What’d you expect Mace?”

+++“I dunno, but it wasn’t a baggie of fucking Betty Crocker and a twist tie, Jesus.” Macy closed the lid on the container, an unsettled paleness falling over her cheeks.

+++“Well,” Addy looked at Christy through the rearview mirror, “Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust and all that, you know?”

+++“Don’t quote the Bible at me, you know I fucking hate that.”

+++Christy rolled her eyes at her sisters, “It’s not the Bible, it’s-”

+++“Okay, so, where exactly are we putting,” Addy paused, hands gripping for an answer but only collecting air, “You know, where is he going?”

+++Christy clicked her tongue, “I thought we’d decided to dump them at Port A.”

+++“Do you know how much that costs? You gotta rent a boat to take you like ten miles out or whatever before you can spread them.”

+++“Macy’s right Chris. None of us have the money to rent a boat or pay for a boat license,” Addy squinted, “I think you need a license.”

+++“Y’all, we don’t have to do it today. We could do it in a week, a month, a year; we can save money,” Christy tried to reason. Their father hadn’t done much for them in the way of anything, but they had spent some nice time together at Port Aransas when they were young, “Where else could he go?”

+++Macy smiled, “You could always take him back to Tech with you. Spread him on the football field, so he’d never miss a game.”

+++“Fuck you.”

+++“You’re both idiots,” Addy shook her head as she palmed the steering wheel, debating whether it was safe to have this conversation while in a moving vehicle. “We could dump them in Possum Kingdom Lake. We had fun there. Remember that cabin? The tether-ball and s’mores?”

+++“Yeah, and then we had to leave early because he started leaking from his hernia or whatever,” Christy scrubbed at her eyes with an open palm. “He fucking duck-tapped himself closed on the drive home.”

+++“Oh, I forgot that happened,” Macy whispered.

+++“So, then what? One of us just keeps him for a bit?”

+++“I don’t fucking want him! Am I supposed to just put him on a shelf in my dorm?” Christy said, “I can’t wait to tell my roommates, ‘Yeah, that’s my dad but it’s fine, he’s mostly harmless.’ Be so fucking for real.”

+++“Same.”

+++Addy looked between her younger siblings and sighed, “Really?”

+++“Yeah, dude. There’s no way.”

+++Addy shook her head, “Fine. I’ll put him on my mantle.”

+++Macy and Christy looked at each other, unsettled by the idea that their father’s remains would be put on display above their sister’s TV—between an incense burner and a jar of spare change—but they said nothing.

+++“So,” Addy drew out, “I take the box and then we go to Port Aransas eventually?”

+++“I mean, I guess so,” Macy scratched her cheek, “It’s not like he knows though, so, I mean, we don’t exactly gotta rush.”

+++“Really, Macy?”

+++“You know what, he probably does know, Macy?”

+++“What?”

+++“That you spent your days fucking your dumb boyfriend right after he died, and I had to buy you Plan B within two days.”

+++“Fuck off, Christy,” Macy looked back at her sister deciding to return the yellow bag to Christy over the cars middle console. “How long are you gonna stay mad about that? We all grieve in different ways.”

+++“Really? I’m pretty sure most people don’t grieve by sucking-”

+++“Anyway,” Addy sighed loudly over her little sisters’ bickering, “My house and then Port Aransas. Sounds like a plan.”