The gay panic defense is a legal strategy in which a defendant claims they acted in a state of violent, temporary insanity, committing assault or murder, because of unwanted same-sex sexual advances
 

Hesitant to release my heels, the earth
calls to me. Holds my feet one moment
too long. I once dreamt of being rooted
so firmly that I could not be moved,
could not be shaken.

–

Many times I fantasized dancing  until my feet bled
into damp earth   and where the fresh crimson scattered   virulent
or otherwise   soil was made fertile   lifebloom   petals bramble
thorns weeds   because who am I to place value
on anything that aches to live?

–

I can’t sit, can’t lay my back to the ground. These woods
have grown quick, the trees warped and twisted
without a moon to guide them. Gnarled fingers
branch towards me, beckoning. I know, now, that to follow
means I won’t find my way back.

–

Father   gift me with rage   let me be
what Wrath was named for   make me new
in the image of tempest   of maelstrom   of
elements wrapped around one another
until they are a gown   a body   a host
of destruction and intent

Because I am not angry. I am tired.